Atonement
by bethanyjoylenz
Summary: Steve and Haley were two happy teenagers in love with each other when he had to leave. Now, four years later, a lot of things has changed and they both have to deal with the consequences.
1. October 2006

**Chapter 1**

_Wednesday, October 11st, 2006_

Haley held the pregnancy test tightly in her hands. She only had sex a couple of times with Steve and she was sure they always had used protection so the probability that she could be pregnant was very, very low but she couldn't help but think she was. No, she was _sure_ she was pregnant. She could feel it.

She took a deep breath as she forced herself to open her eyes and see the result. Her body trembled slightly and she could feel the prick of _tears_ behind her eyelids as the word "pregnant" appeared on the small screen.

She was pregnant. Like _really_ pregnant.

The test slipped out of her hand and the girl put her hand over her mouth, slowly starting to cry. How could she be pregnant? Well, she knew _how_ but she thought that... Haley opened her eyes and tried to breathe normally but it was damn hard. Her life was starting to fall apart and she couldn't do anything about that.

Haley was a normal seventeen year-old girl, with passions, friends, dreams and an ex boyfriend who happened to be one of her best friends and who'd eventually broken up with her right before leaving for a Navy base.

"_It's not good for you to date a guy you can't see everyday and who can't take care of you, Hales." _That's how Steve broke up with her. It wasn't because he didn't love her, it wasn't because he was afraid he could cheat on her, it wasn't because he wasn't ready for a relationship. It was just because he knew his job would be his priority and also because it would be too dangerous and he didn't want her to worry about him, not knowing where he was or what he was doing.

Steve had left and she was alone with a baby on the way. How could she do that? She was just a teenager and couldn't take care of a baby, not alone. Not there. Not without him.

_Sunday, October 15th, 2006_

Haley got out of her car and slowly headed to the McGarrett's household, then gently knocked at the door. She had been there many times before but it felt like it was the first time. She was going to tell her ex boyfriend's father that she was pregnant and she had no idea how he would take it. Sure, she'd known John and Elizabeth McGarrett since she was little because for a few years they were neighbours and also because her older sister went to school with Steve.

The curly-haired girl waited for an answer and as the man opened the door, she took a deep breath.

"Hello." She said with low voice, trying to show a smile but unfortunately she wasn't really in the mood.

"Hello to you, Haley. It's really good to see you. Come in." John gave her a big smile, ignoring what he was going to find out in a few minutes.

Haley slowly walked in and looked around. Everything was like the last time she had been there, nothing changed. Except for Steve's absence, obviously. As John shut the door behind himself, the girl found herself jumping a little.

"Tell me, why are you here? I mean, is there something I can do for you?" The man asked her and sat down on the couch, gesturing to her to sit down next to him.

"Uh.. There is something I should tell you."

Haley sat down on the couch and took a deep breath, looking down on her knees and starting to chewing on her bottom lip.

"Hey, you okay? You seem nervous." John told her, giving her one of his best smiles trying to reassure her, but without success.

"I-I... I took a pregnancy test a few days ago and.. I'm pregnant." Haley murmured, trying not to cry again. She had cried a lot in the previous days and she was starting to hate it. Also, she didn't want him to see her cry.

John opened his mouth a little and tried to say something, but obviously couldn't. No, she couldn't be pregnant.

"This is... Wow. Is it Steve's?" He asked after a minute or two. What a stupid question. It was obviously Steve's. "What do you want to do?"

"I don't know. I mean, I've talked with my parents and they said that they're going to support me no matter what but I think I should call Steve and tell him about this. He's the father after all." Haley answered with a shrug, keeping her eyes on her knees and not being able to look up at him. It was her fault if she was pregnant. All her fault.

"No, that's out of question. Steve won't ever know about this baby. It's not safe for the baby, neither for you and my son. He needs to focus on his career." John quickly told her.

As Haley heard his answer, she frowned and looked up at him. He couldn't tell her not to call her ex boyfriend and tell him that she was pregnant. The baby wasn't only hers. It was also Steve's.

"Excuse me?" She asked, taking a deep breath and trying to stay calm. "Steve is the father. He deserves to know, whether he wants to keep the baby or not."

John shook his head. "No. I can take care of you and the baby, I can pay for everything – clothes, doctors, _everything_ – but please, don't tell Steve you're pregnant. He would come back here and he can't. It's not safe."

_Safe_.

John said many times that word but Haley didn't know why. Why wasn't it safe staying in Hawaii with your family? Why did Steve have to leave and never come back? There were a lot of things that the girl didn't understand but there was something in John's eyes that made her feel uncomfortable, like something bad would happen but yet she felt reassured by those big blue eyes. He was protecting his son and she knew he would do anything for him and now, even for his grandson.

Haley was surprised of herself when she agreed. She had just said yes to hiding forever and lie about her future to 'protect' Steve but she felt like it was the best thing to do. The_ only_ thing to do.


	2. January 2010

**Author's note:** First of all, I'm so sorry for this late update but I've been very busy. I'm free now so expect many other chapters and maybe even a few new fanfictions. I'd like to thank who reviewed and who read this fanfiction, I really appreciate it. I don't know if you all liked it, but I hope you did and I also hope you enjoy this new chapter.

* * *

_Sunday, January 17th, 2010_

"Are you sure you want to go?" Haley softly asked her son, while trying to knot his tie.

"Yes. I want to say goodbye to granpa John." The four year-old kid answered, looking at her mother and when he realized that her eyes were extremely sad, he put his small hand on her cheek. "Don't be sad, mommy."

In moments like these, Haley couldn't help but love her son more and more. She gave him a small smile and after finishing to knot his tie, she hugged him. He was the best thing that had ever happened to her and even though he was only four, he already seemed just like his father and Haley couldn't be happier.

"You're such a good boy." She told him, cupping his face with her hands. "Now let's go." She kissed his forehead and then held his hand, walking outside and heading to the cemetery.

Once they arrived, they stayed away from the people who were standing around the McGarrett's grave. Haley could see a lot of people she knew, even her parents were there, but she couldn't stay with them. Steve was going to be there and she wanted to keep the promise so going there with her son wouldn't be a good idea.

She lightly squeezed his son hand and kept her eyes on the people, holding her breath as she saw Steve. He was still like the last time she'd seen him – sure, he was a _man_ now, but still. She lightly smiled seeing him with his uniform. He looked amazing, but the sadness that was in his eyes made her feel helpless. She wanted to hug him, tell him everything will be okay, tell him she still loved him. But she couldn't.

"Who's that, mommy?" Chris asked her at some point, pointing a finger at Steve.

"He.. He's John's son." She answered, not wanting to tell him the truth and hoping he wouldn't understand that since he was John's son, Steve was also his father.

"Oh. I didn't know he had a son. Can I say 'hi' to him?"

"No, honey. Maybe another day."

Haley hoped her son could forget him soon. She knew Steve was going leave soon so hiding some more wouldn't be a bad idea at all. She looked down at her son and gave him a small smile.

"But why do we have to stay here? People are there."

"I know that the people are there, Chris but we can't stay with them." She told him, not really knowing what to tell him. "We'll go there when John's family and friends leave."

The girl sighed and as she looked back at Steve, she saw a woman – a beautiful brunette, skinny woman who was wearing a uniform as well – standing next to him, who was holding his hand.

For the first time after years, Haley saw Steve, the man who still loved but the only thing she could feel now was anger mixed with sadness. She felt like she got stabbed in the heart. Steve was dating someone else, or he was maybe married to that woman.

What was she pretending? That he would have waited for her for nearly five years? No, of course not. She was the one who decided to put her son first. She was the one who decided to wait for someone who would never come back. She was the one who was still in love with her high school sweetheart. She was the one who couldn't get over him.

She looked away and took some deep breaths, trying to act like nothing happened. She needed to be strong for her son. She was feeling incredibly stupid for only thinking that seeing Steve for some minutes would make her happy. Haley squeezed her son's hand and gave him another smile, trying to reassure him but she was the one who needed to be reassured.

As the ceremony finished and the people left, Chris and Haley headed to the grave. Now they were alone with John.

"You can tell him something, if you want."

"No, I've made this for him and there's all I want to tell him in it." Chris answered, leaving his drawing and a flower on the grave. "I think I'll miss him."

"Oh, sweetheart." Haley glanced down and put her hands on his shoulders. "He will always be in your heart and he will always protect you."

She kissed the top of his head and closed her eyes. She didn't want her son to live something like this, he was too little. When she had to tell him that John was dead, he surprised her telling that he felt something was wrong. Incredible.

"I'm sorry to interrupt you, but have you seen a purse around?"

Haley heard a woman's voice and immediately opened her eyes, looking up at her. Her heart stopped beating for a second as she recognized that she was the woman who was with Steve. She swallowed and kept her hands on her son's shoulders.

"No." She answered in curt reply to her question. Haley didn't want to talk with her at all.

"Oh... Okay." Catherine answered a little bit confused by the tone of her answer. "I haven't seen you earlier here. Were you a friend of John?" She asked both the woman and the little boy.

"I am his gra-" Chris started speaking but her mother quickly cut him off.

"Yes, we were his friends and we have to go now." Haley told her, grabbing his son's hand and then sighing. "It was nice to meet you." She lied and then left, followed by her son who kept asking her question about the woman but she ignored them all.

Catherine stood there without saying a word, surprised by Haley's reaction. She shook her head and then headed back to her boyfriend's car.

"Why that face?" Steve asked her when she got into the car. "And have you found the purse?"

"No, but it doesn't matter. I probably left it at your place." She answered and then started telling him what had just happened.

Steve looked around trying to see the woman her girlfriend was talking about but when he didn't say anyone, he looked back at Catherine.

"Did she say her name or something?"

Catherine shook her head. "No, nothing. Everything was so strange though..."

She shrugged and kept her eyes on Steve who sighed and then drove off. Who was that woman and why didn't stay with the others during the ceremony? He needed to find out who it was and he knew he would.


	3. December 2006

**Author's note:** Thank you guys for reviewing the last chapter, I couldn't imagine that someone would actually like this story so glad you like it! As for Catherine, don't worry, I'm not a Steve/Catherine shipper at all so she'll leave my story very soon.

* * *

_Sunday, December 24th, 2006_

It was Christmas Eve, and Steve laid on his bed, arms crossed behind his head, staring at the ceiling. He was alone in his sleeping quarter and even if he never liked Christmas there was nothing – _nothing_ – he wanted more than coming back home to see Haley. He missed her more than anything else, sometimes even more than his father and this scared him, but the feeling lasted only a few seconds. They hadn't spoke since he left for Annapolis and every day he hoped to wake up and find a letter from her, but it never happened. Not like he ever wrote her anything, but he told that since she was the romantic one, a letter would be the least she could do. But he was wrong.

Steve didn't move for a while and then sat up, feeling the need to write Haley something. It was Christmas, after all, so that could be his small present to her. He grabbed what he needed and stared at the paper for what felt like an hour, the pen clicking against the book he was using as a makeshift writing surface. Despite his attempts, the page stayed blank because he had no idea what to say. Did he tell her how much he missed her and how much he still loved her? Did he tell her that the only thing he cared about was coming back home just for her? No, he had _no_ idea how to write a letter to her ex girlfriend who'd probably already forgotten him and was dating someone else.

For more than three hours, Steve started and stopped on his letter to Haley but when he almost gave up, he found some inspiration in an old picture of them he'd found in the book.

_My dearest and beloved Haley,_

_I miss you. Maybe this is not the best way to begin a letter to an ex girlfriend but I can't help it. I miss you so much, Hales._

_It's been three months since the last time I saw you and I've never heard from you since then. I hope you're doing good. This year is your last year in High school so I bet you're enjoying it and can't wait for the prom. I'm sure your mother will make you a beautiful dress, like the one you wore for the prom last year. I'm looking at the pictures of us at that party and even if I look like an idiot, you look gorgeous._

_It's Christmas Eve here and I wish I was with you. I hope you're doing good, Hales and please, write me back soon. You don't have to tell me you miss me – because you probably don't – but I want to know what's going on in your life._

_Take care,_

_Steve._

_Sunday, December 31st, 2006_

"Are you ready, Haley? Brooke and Peyton are already at the café!"

Lucas' voice interrupted Haley's thoughts. The girl was standing in front of the mirror, softly touching her belly and sighing a little. It has been more than three months since Steve left and she still didn't receive anything from him. Not a letter, not a phone call. She stood there for a couple of minutes then grabbed her purse, quickly walking downstairs and smiling at her best friend.

"Thank God! I thought you didn't want to come anymore." He told her, putting an arm around her shoulders and softly kissing her hair.

"I'm not so excited to celebrate New Year's Eve with you all, I'd rather stay home but I do this just for you and your mother." Haley smiled up at him and, after kissing her mother on the cheek, followed him outside.

She was glad to have a best friend like Lucas. They had been friends since Elementary school and even though sometimes they found themselves fighting over stupid things, they always ended up hugging and tell each other nice words.

Just like when she told him she was pregnant. He didn't say anything. Of course, she knew he was kind of mad at her but the only thing he did was hugging her for the whole night, while she was crying her heart out.

Once they arrived at Karen's Café, the two of them walked into the place and Haley was happy to see her friends there. Maybe a night out with them was what she needed to not think of Steve.

They danced, talked and even cried and when it was almost the new years, Lucas stood up and raised his glass.

"To the new year. The year when we finally graduate, start college, seriously think about our future and obviously welcome a new baby in our family." He smiled down at Haley and she couldn't help but blush.

_Family._

That was what they were. A only one, big and lovely family. And right now, that was the thing Haley and her baby needed the most.

…

Mr. and Mrs. James were sitting on the couch, alone. They children were out to celebrate New Year's Eve and even though some of their friends asked them to go out with them, Haley's parents decided to stay home and think about the new year.

"We can't do this to our daughter." The woman looked up at her husband and sighed, looking down at the letter that was on the living room table. "It's not fair."

"I know it's not but we can't give her this letter. We promised. She needs to stop thinking of Steve and giving her his letter would only make her feel worse and right now, she doesn't need stress." The man held his wife's hand and softly squeezed it. "John asked us to not tell Haley what's going on with Steve and that's what we will do if it's for our daughter's safety."

The woman slowly nodded and leaned against his husband, keeping her eyes down on the letter. She knew it wasn't fair. Her daughter needed this letter, especially after finding out that she spent most of the nights crying herself to sleep.


End file.
